Difficult people exist in all walks of life. In many situations it is easy to avoid them by simply walking away. However, when you manage a team, you often have to work closely with someone whose behaviour affects performance, morale or working relationships.
This article sets out practical steps to take early, how to keep matters fair and consistent, and when you may need to use a formal capability or disciplinary process.
This guidance is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice.
Start with a reality check: is the behaviour the problem?
Before you take action, consider whether:
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the issue is a genuine conduct/performance concern, or a clash of working styles;
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workload, unclear priorities or change are contributing factors; and
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your own approach could be escalating things (for example, tone, timing, or assumptions).
This isn’t about excusing poor behaviour — it’s about ensuring you address the right issue and don’t mishandle a situation that could be resolved quickly.
Remember: people have “off days” — but patterns matter
Professional or personal difficulties can lead to short-term dips in behaviour or engagement. A supportive, private check-in can make a big difference:
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“I’ve noticed you seem under pressure lately — is everything okay?”
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“Is there anything affecting your work that we should talk about?”
If there’s a one-off incident, an informal conversation and a reset plan may be enough. If there is a pattern, you will need to move towards clearer expectations and (where necessary) formal steps.
Be specific about the behaviour — not the person
Vague feedback (“You’re difficult” / “You’re negative”) rarely helps. Instead:
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describe what happened (facts, not opinions);
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explain the impact (on colleagues, clients, deadlines, quality, safety); and
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set out the standard expected going forward.
Example:
“In yesterday’s team meeting you interrupted twice while others were speaking and dismissed two suggestions as ‘stupid’. That shut down discussion and affected the team’s confidence. In future, I expect you to let people finish and challenge ideas respectfully.”
Use one-to-one conversations — avoid public confrontations
Corrective conversations should be held privately. Public criticism can:
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escalate conflict;
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damage relationships and morale; and
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increase legal risk if someone later alleges bullying, harassment or discrimination.
If you need to address behaviour in the moment (e.g. in front of a customer), keep it brief and neutral (“Let’s pause — we’ll discuss this afterwards”), then follow up in private.
Keep positive: don’t let “negativity” hijack the team
Negative team members can drain energy and focus. Often they do not realise their impact. You can retain control by:
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listening briefly, without becoming a sounding board (set a time limit);
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reframing problems into options and actions; and
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setting boundaries (“I’ll listen for a few minutes, then we need to agree next steps.”)
If repeated negativity is undermining others, treat it as a performance/conduct issue and move to clear expectations and, if needed, a formal process.
Dealing with aggression, bullying or harassment: act quickly and document
Aggressive or passive-aggressive behaviour requires calm, firm management:
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stick to the facts;
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maintain composure; and
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don’t “match” the emotion — it rarely helps.
If behaviour may amount to harassment (for example, unwanted conduct related to a protected characteristic) you must take it seriously. Harassment is defined in the Equality Act 2010 as unwanted conduct related to a relevant protected characteristic that has the purpose or effect of violating someone’s dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment.
Employers are responsible for preventing workplace bullying and harassment and should investigate complaints promptly.
Important legal update: proactive duty to prevent sexual harassment
Since 26 October 2024, employers must take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment of workers. That includes being proactive (e.g. assessing risk, training, reporting routes) rather than waiting for an incident.
Practical tip: keep a clear record of dates, what was said/done, who witnessed it, and what action you took.
Check for health, wellbeing and stress factors
Sometimes “difficult behaviour” is linked to burnout, stress or mental health. Employers have a duty to protect workers from stress at work by carrying out a risk assessment and acting on it, just as they would for other health and safety risks. ()
This does not remove the need to address misconduct or poor performance — but it does mean you should consider:
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workload, role clarity and support;
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any reasonable adjustments that may be required (where disability may be relevant); and
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whether a referral to occupational health or an HR-led support plan is appropriate.
Use the right formal route: capability vs disciplinary
If informal steps do not work, you may need to take formal action. The correct route matters:
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Capability (performance/skills/ill health): where someone is struggling to meet required standards despite support/training.
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Disciplinary (conduct): where behaviour is unacceptable (e.g. aggression, persistent lateness, refusal to follow reasonable instructions).
When using formal procedures, employers should follow fair process and the Acas Code of Practice on disciplinary and grievance procedures (minimum standards).
Failing to follow a fair process can increase legal and cost risk if the matter escalates.
Document, document, document
Good notes protect everyone. Keep records of:
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informal meetings and agreed actions;
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objectives, deadlines and support offered;
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warnings and outcomes; and
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any complaints and investigations.
This ensures consistency, helps HR advise properly, and supports decision-making if the situation escalates.
When to seek specialist advice
You should seek advice sooner rather than later if:
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there is a discrimination/harassment risk;
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the behaviour involves threats, violence, or safeguarding issues;
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there may be a disability/adjustments point;
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there is a risk of constructive dismissal allegations; or
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the situation is affecting wider team wellbeing or retention.
In summary
When dealing with a difficult team member, stay in control and think clearly:
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keep emotions in check and deal with issues privately;
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be specific about behaviour, impact and expectations;
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try informal resolution first — but don’t allow patterns to persist;
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act quickly on bullying/harassment concerns and keep records; and
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where needed, follow a fair process in line with the Acas Code. ()
If you need guidance on managing employee behaviour or navigating formal HR processes, DTM Legal’s Employment & HR team is here to help. Call Tom Evans on 0151 230 1217 or email employment@dtmlegal.com
